The story of CRAZY and DUH!
by AlyssaLies28
Summary: Hello! Raja here to tell you I'm changing the plot AND the title to something else so I can continue this story of mine. Don't read this though cause you won't like it. X warning X This story has been know to cuase brain melting and no drah effects. Oh an
1. Our Plot Foiled!

Raja Tears: Well this is my first fic.

Lamb: Hey! This is your second one!

Ray: Yeah! You had one with Sess/Kag.

Raja Tears: That one wasn't good enough! This one is stupid so I don't care what people say.

Ray: You try that at school and GAY Mrs. Lehr thinks you're stupid.

Lamb: Really it isn't that far from the mark, but you just feel more comfortable writing like the retard you are.

Raja Tears: tears streaming down face Thanks guys.

Lamb & Ray: No prob. Sexy.

Raja Tears: touches both(at night) retarded giggle

Ray: I get this feeling!sings from song that I don't own.

Lamb: sighs Well since both of them are being retarded- (Singing is heard in the back round. Not very go singing though.)- I'll DO the disclaimer.

Ray & Raja Tears: DO IT!

Lamb: Glares Raja Tears doesn't own anything (Raja Tears: Except for Ray on the weekends! ) As you can see she is very retarded and that word will be used in the story...A LOT. Also she likes YAOI and will most likely write a yaoi story for any one that asks. Any other words?

Ray: I don't like yaoi.

Raja Tears: I love it. Not yuri so much, but I'M open minded. And I'll write a yaoi so...when I think my friends can handle it. Well the story is going to star Ray as Ray, Lamb as Lamb or Little Sheep for short, me as Fatty, and of course Kagome! So ON WITH THE STORY!

100 Attempts to Contain What Makes Sesshomaru Sexy

Chapter 1: Our Plot Foiled!

At Tunisia Middle School

Kagome's Pov.

I glanced out the window tuning out the ear- bleeding sound of Mrs. Lair's voice. ( I wonder who that is? He he.) 'I can't believe that they would do something so...incredibly stupid. On second thought it seems like those three!mental sigh Why did Ray, Lamb, and Fatty make an anime show out of my boyfriend, his friends and family, and me!' "YOU'RE SO STUPID!"

"Well, Mrs. Rinichi (I can't even begin to spell her last name.) if you find me so stupid then tell me what a Sarah Bishop did in the 15th chapter."Mrs. Lair sent me a death glare at me while my friends gave me a weird look then sent a group glare at Mrs. Lair. 'I need to work on keeping my thoughts to my self.' I sigh out loud and did what no one but my friends an I would understand.

"She was attached for not believing in the 'Sesshy's bangs are eatable' Cult. She thought that one could only rape his bangs." It was hard to be in this school were everyone was stupidly stupid. Mrs. Lair was about to send me to the hall when everyone just started to laugh. Yup! This school is stupid, but me and my friends are the stupidest...except for the preps. They bet us and they don't act. We do. Some times I feel stupid for them. Class went on with everyone listen in the 'normal' section, but in our little corner we were writing stories about suicide and bacon.

After School

"Soooooo...When do we get to meet Sessh-...I mean...Your boyfriend and his friends?" Asked Ray as Fatty and Lamb held up little hearts all around her. I don't think that Inuyasha would be able to stand them. Oh well! I already told him that I was bringing over My friends tonight.

"Tonight! Sango, Miroku, and Inuyasha will be at the restaurant." They stopped walking and started to dance. Well, fatty was more like jiggling everywhere. I knew they would be happy!

"Wait. Restaurant? Ohhhhh! You mean Taco Bell! The most wonderful place in the WORLD!" Fatty was weird. Very weird. She wasn't really that fat, but we like to give each other nicknames.

The teachers at school just turn the other check. They know we're crazy.

"We should go get dressed up! We have to impress them. Come on we can have a montage that won't be recorded in future generations! To my house." When Lamb says "dress up" and "impress" it means we got to make ourselves as weird and crazy looking as possible. We do it all the time. I just feel sorry for Inuyasha.

At Taco Bell

I looked at all of our out fits and grinned. 'Inuyasha's going to be floored!' Ray was wearing a crimson shirt with a dead kitty on it in black, gray caprea's, and had her hair in low ponytails at the back of her head. She had heavy crimson eye shadow on, but it looked goth like. Not like a whore. Lamb had on a dark purple tube top with the word GOTH written across it and a fish net light blue sleeveless trench coat, skin tight leather pants that laced up on the sides, and her hair was left down with purple and blue highlights. She didn't wear make up. Fatty wore a baggy shirt that said "I've kidnaped myself. If you ever want to see me again give me 100,000 dollars." in what looked to be cut out of different magazines, baggy black cargo pants that had electric blue chains hanging from it and rested so low on her hips that you could see electric blue boxers too, the front part of her hair was put up in ponytails on top of her head and were curled while the rest was put into a messy bun in the middle of her head. She had liner packed on. As for me, well I don't like the goth look. I'm NOT a prep though. No one likes them! We all piled out of Fatty's '65 Shelby Cobra. Even though we were 13 Fatty had the best car around and drove us everywhere, We don't know how she got a first addition Cobra, but it was most DEFIANTLY was illegal. We walked through the doors and went to sit at our usual table.

"When are they going to get here!"Lamb asked as she played with our pet Boa, Yakusoku. He lived here at Taco Bell. No one bothers him cause then we would be...angry. No one wants that.

"I hope Sesshy is coming here." Ray had this day dream look on her face like when we're in Algerbra. Fatty just pulled out a dagger from her belt and started to carve into the table. 'They better get here soon. Fatty gets kinda crazy when she doesn't have a taco.'

"Hey 'Gome, Ray, Lamb, and I have to go to the restroom. We'll br right back!" Fatty had a gleam in her eyes that told me that she had a crazy plot. 'Well, Inuyasha and the others just drove up if she doesn't want me to know the plan. I really don't think I want to know anyway. Oh well. At least it's going to be an entertaining evening!'

"Don't reck the place to much with your diabolical plot, Fatty. Last time the FBI had to get involved." They just smiled and rushed to the restrooms. 'Nope I really don't want to know.

"Hey, Babe,"Inuyasha whispered into my ear. I smiled and turned to meet his lips. ", were are those friends of yours that we were supposed to meet?" I shrugged at turned back around. Inuyasha sat next to me, Miroku sat next to him, and Sango sat on the very out side of the bench. It was a big bench, what with all the fat people. Then I realized why Fatty, Ray, and Lamb had the evil glint in their eyes. Across from me sat Sesshomaru. He look very annoyed at having to be here. 'I kinda fell sorry that he'll be tortured by the Crazy Three.' I gave him a bright smile. 'Well not really!'

In the Restroom

Fatty's Pov.

"He's here! Do you think he'll marry me. Ohhhhhh, we'll have beautiful kids together! He'll like them even if they ARE half- demon. Weeeee!"Me and Little Sheep giggled at Ray and went into our own day dreams. I quickly came back to the world of insanity and slapped the others.

"We have to do something! We must obtain what makes Sesshomaru sexy! And I have a plot. An evil Plot," At this point Little Sheep got out the boom box that we kept in the second stall for just this evil occasion and Ray dimmed the lights and held a flash light under my face. ", now all we need to do is figure out WHAT makes him sexy." Ray and Little Sheep threw the things back into the second stall where it hit a woman who was constipated. She let out a big one and died. 'Some people just can't handle tacos or evil plots.' Ray started to jump around with her hand in the air.

Ray: I know. Pick me, Lardo. Pick me.

Me: What is it Ray?

Little Sheep: I bet she doesn't know what it is.

Ray sent an smile at Sheep that said "I'm a retard".

Ray: It's his bangs! The way they sway in the breeze. And the silver sweetness that shines.

At that point we all sighed. 'Wow! I think we figured it out! Now for my plot.'

Me: Okay gather around so no one can hear the Plot except for us.

We formed a circle and leaned into one another. I started to make whispering sounds. Then I said "Sesshomaru" loudly. I started to make more whispering noises and said "kitchen" clearly. We stood up and Sheep looked at me strangely. The way we communicate is so stupid we understand each other even when we just make whispering noises.

Sheep: That won't work.

Me: Will so!

Ray: Come on we need to get to the kitchen with out being seen.

With Kagome

"It's been a half hour. Were are your friends at?" I looked at Miroku as he asked me that. Out of the corner of my eye I saw my friends crack open the restroom door and roll out on the ground. They started to make ninja noises while they jumped around on the tables on other peoples food. After a minute of that they all just jumped down and walked into the kitchen. I rolled my eyes and turned back to face Miroku.

"Oh, they're probably in their own world right now. Don't worry give them 10 min. and they'll be here." I explained.

"If those goths work here then I don't want to eat. They seem retarded." Everyone laughed at the joke Sango made. Even I did. 'I hope they didn't hear Sango say that. They'll torture her poor soul!' We went on talking about our normal stuff and had a good time. Sesshomaru just sat there staring out the window the whole time.

In the Kitchen

Author's Pov.

Lamb, Ray, and Fatty walked past the workers and into the very back room. The storage room.

"Do they even have all the stuff here?" Ray asked and picked up two rolls of duck tape. Lamb knocked down the door and took off the hinges.

"Why did you do that? We didn't need it." Fatty questioned as she and Ray looked puzzled at Lamb. Lamb grinned and held out the door for them to see.

"It told me to do it! So I did!"

"Oh well, that explains it!" Ray said. Fatty went over to Lamb and looked down at the door.

"Were's the goods?" Fatty paused for a moment. "Not talking I see." Ray, Lamb, and Fatty shared a goofy grin before they jumped on the broken door and make a brig 'KABOOM' sound effect. The door shattered under their HUGE weight. They got up and run around the room gathering the rest of the stuff they needed for their Plot. EVIL Plot.

"Okay, Duck tape, gray powder that will make smoke if it's blown up, fuse?"

"Check, check, check!" Ray and Fatty shouted as Lamb went through what they had.

"Doughnuts, sunglasses, microphone?"

"Check, check, che-...wait we don't have a mic." Ray said while Fatty shuffled through all the stuff.

"Were are we going to get one then?" Lamb wondered out loud. They all thought for a moment.

"I'll be back!" Fatty ran out the room and to the drive through window. She turned the person who was taking some ones order around. Solemnly Fatty asked a question. "Do you believe in God my child." the person looked scared and stuttered out a mick yes. Fatty flashed a smile then snatched off the persons head phone mic. She promptly pushed the annoying person out the window and skipped back to the room. "Check!"

"He he. That person died!" Ray stated with a day dream smile.

"Okay. The most IMPORTANT thing...the foil!" All three of the girls squealed in delight

and shout at the same time "CHECK" the went to work fixing the smoke bomb and powdering the ninja throwing doughnuts! The foil will come later. As the three walked out of the kitchen they each grabbed a pair of scissors.

Kagome and the others

I heard the kitchen door open. Everyone there turned around to see a big duck tape ball sitting there. I notice to late that it had a light fuse when it exploded. Instead of it hurting people like they usually do it just released a thick gray smoke that covered the whole place. 'Well, they get points for making it in 5 min. and it didn't even hurt anyone...yet.' I started to cough when I heard this heavy breathing coming from the direction of the kitchen. Then I felt doughnuts pelting me. I screamed when it hit my hand. 'THAT HURT. Since when are doughnuts THAT hard. Oh yeah. Lamb is an evil scientist.' That's when I heard Ray say something in a husky voice.

"Sesshomaru...I am your father!" The doughnuts keep coming at us when I saw a flash of silver. I heard what sounded like a struggle then a 'Thump' coming from across me. The smoke cleared away and the doughnuts stopped. I looked to where I heard all the noises and started to laugh. 'I knew this would be entertaining!' Inuyasha, Sango, and Miroku looked at me then to where I was pointed to to see the three goth chicks from earlier. They looked at what they were sitting on by the table and started to laugh also. There on beneath them was Sesshomaru wrapped up tightly in foil with nothing but his bangs peaking through. 'Wait til they find out those are my friends!' I thought as Ray, Fatty, and Lamb gave each other high fives. They gave me an evil smile that I knew I would come to recognize in the future and each pulled out some very sharp scissors.

Fatty's Pov.

"Now Sesshy don't worry!"I said as I looked at my scissors.

"Yeah, we just want to contain what makes you sexy!" Lamb then started to open and close her scissors very violently. We all grabbed a piece of Sesshy's bangs and brought our scissors close.

"FREEZE! Drop the scissors and put your hands in the air. NOW!" Came a booming voice. Lamb and I laughed and looked a Ray. 'She can throw her voice!' Ray looked at us with wide eyes. We all slowly turned to the kitchen door to see the discarded mic. laying there.

"Oops." We said at the same time. The windows shattered as FBI agents crashed through them from helicopters. Twenty of them surrounded us and pointed their guns at us. I threw my scissors at the silver head that looked like Sesshy a little. 'Ohhh! So that's her boyfriend!' Ray put her scissors into the ground and Lamb hide hers in my clothes. We all turned to Kagome and smiled innocently.

"Hi, Kagome. We're back!" Said Ray with a small wave. Lamb got up and walked over to sit down across from 'Gome's one girl friend. Two of the guns followed Her movements.

"Soooooo...you're her boyfriend. I always thought you would look more manly." 'Gome snorted when Lamb was knocked into Ray and me with a punch from that girl.

"Sango, Inuyasha, Miroku these are my friends that I wanted you to meet! That's Fatty, Ray, and Lamb." 'Gome pointed everyone out as she said our names. Me, Lamb, and Ray gave a cheeky smile, waved, and said "HI, HI!" together. I turned to my right and waved at the agent there.

"How are the kids Mike?" I asked Mike. Lamb, Ray, and I get into a lot of trouble. We know most of the FBI agents in the 3 state radius around Indiana. Mike's just really hot! He rolled his eyes and handcuffed us together. The rest out down their guns when the realized that it was just us causing mayhem again.

Kagome's Pov.

I watched as Mike lead my friends out to the van a drove off. I sigh and got up.

"Well I got to go bail them out before they manhandle the poisoners to much. I'll see you tomorrow. Bye guys!" I kissed Inuyasha goodbye and stepped over the still foiled covered Sesshy. 'They didn't get what they wanted today...I think I'll help them tomorrow!"

I laughed as I got into Fatty's Cobra and drove away from the demolished Taco Bell. "We MUST get Sesshy's bangs!"

The End until the next chapter!

Raja Tears: I think that went well.

Ray: You're going to make a 100 of those things?

Lamb: Of course she is! Even if I have to make her.

Raja Tears: No one will read something like that though. Tear, tear

Lamb: YES THEY WILL!

Ray: I wouldn't...There's a party...In my pants.

Raja Tears: Thanks guys you know how to cheer me up!

Lamb: Beep! We haven't even started on our science fair project!

Raja Tears: Fine. I'll start to build the bridges. You get the sludge hammer!

Lamb & Raja Tears: Runs off to 'do' their project. Meaning we'll just talk!

Ray: Raja Tears will make a new story if some one other then me and Lamb reviews nicely. Give suggestions too! Lots of them! It could take awhile for her to reply or whatever 'cause she's slow and new. Keep reading for her sake! I BEG OF YOU!


	2. Sesshomaru Captured!

Raja Tears:...depressed silence

Ray: What's wrong, Tears?

Raja Tears:...

Lamb: walks in to see Tears in the corner What's going on?

Ray: She's depressed.

Lamb: Why are you depressed?

Raja Tears:...tear, tear

Lamb: Ahhhhhh! She's crying!

Ray: We must call in the professional!

Lamb: Gets out cell phone and calls friend over. She'll be here soon.

Raja Tears: sniff Who?

Kry Baby: ME!

Raja Tears: Turns back to corner.

Ray: whispers to Kry Baby Say the disclaimer. That might make her feel better.

Kry Baby: Hello readers! Even if no one has reviewed Tears needs to write her depression out! So be nice even if it really isn't that good. I don't know I haven't read her stuff yet. She doesn't write YURI. All of us are just really weird. So she owns nothing. (Ray: Except for me on the weekends! Kry Baby, Ray, & Lamb: Glances at Tears Raja Tears:...) Well here it goes. Good luck Tears!

100 Attempts To Contain What Makes Sesshomaru Sexy

Chapter 2: Sesshomaru Captured!

Mayhem Manor

Ray's Pov.

'Man it's nice that all four of us can live together! Causing mayhem in a manor. I'm glad Kagome's father in loaded! We could have never afforded this if we didn't hack his account!' I ran into the living room and jumped onto one of the five couches. I smiled and picked up the remote. 'Time for some blood shed!' I pressed the power button on the remote and nothing happened. 'What!' I looked down to see what was wrong and saw my hand. My empty hand!

"Kagome give it back. NOW!" I yelled when I saw that little whore tossing it into the air and grinning. 'How does she do that!' I sucked at hand/eye stuff...like catching!

"Give what back? Oh how did I get the remote? Slut." And at that I leaped at her. We always get into fights like this. Any minute now Fatty will some how since the fight and come to watch. I punched her in the gut after she kick my head to the side. Both of us blinked at the same time and looked around. The room was empty besides us.

"Were's she at? She should have been here by now. With popcorn and a video camera." Well Kagome did have a point. I jumped into the air and did a dance when I saw Lamb run into the room in only a damp towel that barely covered anything. Kagome looked pretty happy, too. 'What happened to the chocolate syrup? Oh yeah. We ate it with that big jar of pickles! Yuuuummmm. Pickles.'

Author's Pov.

While all of them were wondering where the syrup was a racoon snuck into the room and was sniffing around Lambs feet. All of a sudden the three started to break dance. In the process the racoon was made in to a queen and shipped off to rule over the Forest Sprites.

"Well enough of that. We need to go get dressed! Kry Baby is coming for the day!" With that all three raced to their rooms to pick out the most sexiest revealing outfits they owned. They had to win the heart of the sunset blond wonder! What none of them knew was that Kry Baby was almost at the airport and that Fatty was there picking her up at that very moment. Or something that might be considered illegal. Let's go with the latter!

At the Airport

Fatty's Pov.

I looked at the flight times to see when Kry's flight would be landing.

"Crap! I forgot to learn how to tell time again! Oh well I'll just do what I normally do in these situations!" People looked at me strangely and walked a way quickly. I went to the airport food service court thing and looked around. I saw two prostitutes, one female the other male, a cow standing in line to buy some ice cream, Brittany Spears, and twenty- eight clowns on unicycles. 'Now's my chance!' I ran over to the female prostitute and payed her two hundred dollars.

"Okay my whore! I need you to do something for me." I was surprised when I was pushed onto the bench behind me and had the prostitute straddling my waist. I grinned as I imagined Sesshy's bangs. What! I said I was surprised. I didn't say I couldn't enfoy it! 'Focus!' I kicked off the whore and punched her in the face. "Did I say can could take me? DID I!" I yelled and pick her up by the hair on her head. I would have picked her up by her shirt. If she had one on. I saw her flinch at the anger in my voice and a smile tugged at my lips.

"No" Was the whispered reply I got. I held her close and whispered my Plot in her ear. My EVIL Plot. She nodded after I told her what to do and left to do it. I sat down at the bench and watched as everything unfolded. Whore walked up behind the cow in line for ice cream. She pulled out the dagger that I gave her and slit its throat open. She then took off the bell from around its neck and put up a caution sigh over the dead cow, warning people of wet floors. I lauged maniacally. 'Phase one completed!' Whore ran over to Brittany Spears and wrapped the bell collar around her scrawny little neck and chocked her. Even though Spears had tons of bodyguards none of them helped her. They thought she was a slut and payedhadpayed good money to she her assasination. Soon Spears was dead and Whore's time was up. 'I think that went well!' I skipped over to the clowns and knocked them all down.

"That was for raping my cat! He cried for days when he found out he was prego!" With that I ripped off their clothes and raped them all. At the same time. Twice.

Mayhem Manor

Lambs Pov.

I looked at myself in the mirror. 'Puuurfect! I'll win her for sure!' I wore my purple tube top that was two sizes to small for me and barely came down past my chest and my skirt that hung so low on my waist that I had to shave. It came down to high thigh and you could see my thong a little. 'This will woo her!' I walked out of my room and into the living room were the other two were waiting. Ray was wearing something like what she wore yesterday only she had on crimson capreas and a gray shirt that said 'Not Yuri So Keep Reading'. It was a weird message that no one really cared about. Kagome was in her normal clothes only with a little make up. We needed to get Kry to help us and that was that. I mean, she was wierd.We got into Fatty's '85 Cobra and were off to the Airport. 'I hope Fatty's there to woo her into helping us or we may be too late!'

"Do you think this is REALLY going to work? I mean she's a girl. Why would she want to see you dressed like that?" Ray and I turned to look at Kagome. 'Is she really that stupid to not see it?'

"Kry is...a man. She just got a sex change. Hey! Want to got to the Airport and greet Kry! She's coming in for the day!" Ray was brilliant! I would have never had known to go there. I was headed to Sam's Club. They had GREAT slushies! Not as good as Targets, though.I did a quick U- Turn and was off in our new direction.

"Did you guys now that Kry is...a man!" Kagome explained. I gasped and hit the brakes so fast that It knocked my socks off. 'Oh wait. I'm not wearing socks OR shoes!' I turned to the back where Ray sat and took off her wing of Sesshy's hair.

"NO ONE CAN IMITATE THE BANGS!" Ray yelled at herself and jumped on my lap. She shifted the car into reverse and flew down the tunnel we had just come from. Then she threw it into first gear and raced us backout of the dark tunnel. She repeated this a few times.After she was done with that she shifted it back into revese and drove us to the airport that way. I looked a head at and saw the tunnel growing smaller. Blooder dripped from its sides. 'It must've been a virgin.' (You might be confused right now, 'cause I am! Okay, Lamb drove them through the tunnel first to get to the airport. Then Ray Started to do that...thing. Then she turned it around so the car faced the oppisite direction of the airport and drove to the airport in reverse. There!)

"Why are we here again?" We blinked at each other and got out of the car, and walked to the food court. I screamed when I saw all the blood and Fatty was in the middle of it all.

"WHY FATTY! WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO KILL TOO!" I cried and started to draw pictures of dead people in the blood at Kagome's feet.

Author's Pov.

Even with all the chaos they saw him. The flash of silver was a dead give away! Ray pulled out the big net the they kept incase there was ever a child who wanted to die painfully. Willing or not. Ray handed the net over to Lamb since she had no hand/eye sense at all. With that the four jumped into the air and were suspended.

"Crap! I thought we turned that off!" Kagome yelled in frustration.

"Throw the net before he gets away, Lamb!" Fatty and Ray cried with despair. Lamb flung the net toward Sesshomaru with great aim. All cheered. They were going to get his bangs today. Ever since yesterday's failed attempt they had been Plotting...and came up with nothing! Now it was all okay now. Then all the windows shattered as the FIB crashed through them. Or maybe they would be arrested again.

"Oh come ON! Sesshy is hot and all but the FBI! TWICE!" Fatty screamed as the thought of not having the bangs crossed all of their minds.

"That's not Sesshomaru." Stated Mike as he helped them down and handcuffed them. All their eyes got huge as they looked closer at the still figure.

"Oops."

Kry as the Plane lands

Kry's Pov.

My plane landed, but no one got up. I jumped out of my window when no one was looking. 'Got to see what's the hold up. Can't be late to see my girls.' I stepped through the shattered windows to see FBI agents everywhere. 'What could have caused THIS much trouble?' I heard four voices that I would never forget. 'Well that answered that.'

"BUT WE DIDN'T KNOW THAT WASN'T SESSHY!" I heard kagome screech followed shortly by Lamb.

"YEAH! WHAT'S THE EMBASSADOR OF FRANCE DOING WITH SILVER HAIR!"

I raised my eyebrows at their words. 'Who is this Sesshy and what did they DO to the Embassador?' A sigh of releaf pasted through me lips asI saw the still figure wrapped up in a net on the floor. 'Oh. They just killed him.' Each of my friends were being carried away by three muscular men and loaded into a van. I walked out into the parking lot and got into Fatty's '85 Cobra. 'Time to bail them out. No need for the men in prison to be manhandled! Also, I got to know why this Sesshy was so important.'

With that I drove off.

Raja Tears: I FEEL MIGHTY AGAIN!

Lamb: Well you still didn't do your homework!

Ray: Crap! Got to go!

Kry: Me too.

Raja Tears: See yeah!

Lamb: Okay! Bye guys! Well... that's it. Review and keep reading! 98 more Stupid Ch. To go!

Raja Tears: HEY! I was going to say that!

Lamb: #Smiles innocently#

Raja Tears: Well, I want to thank my reviewers! I got three! I was sure that no one would read it. B-but you g-guys did. #Fake tears rolling down cheecks# My next chapter well be put up for these people, who gender I'm just going to guess at!

Lamb: This should be fun.

Raja Tears: Well this one is for Kotsu157! I just sent a reply to you!Hehe hope I didn't scare you there.

Lamb: YOU'RE TALKING TO PEOPLE OVER THE INTERNET!

Raja Tears: #Smiles# I trust people! And this...this is for...#sniff# please..give me a moment. #Wipes fake tears off face# This is for Tigeress of the Mountain. Thank you girl! I think girl. And even though yougave me a flamerhere's my thanks to you Sujansdaughter.


	3. Kry Me Sesshy's Bangs

Ray: Hi! This is a chapter that I wrote myself.

Lamb: Yeah...right!

Raja Tears: Well I wanted to thank my Reviews again! So here is my thanks to...#Hears drum roll from Lamb and Ray jiggling their fat together#

**Broken**: Well! That was... interesting... lol. It was VERY funny. I was rolling on the floor the entire time. So... right more. Like, soon. You've got me hooked now. It's a little confusing, and VERY stupid (in a good-funny way), but you have talent for Humor. The story line is VERY different. I love it. Keep writing... I'm waiting for the next chappy! -is impatient- -grins-

**kotsu157:** nice story it was cool and funny and hilarious and funny and I could go on but that would take FOREVER and I don't want to type that long yeah so I liked your story... it was funny and NOT AGAIN!  
ok bye... "-"

**tigress of the mountain**:(I think it's 'tigress of the mountain. Sorry person if that's how you really meant to spell it!) wow this is really funny u should update soon! im not understand sum parts but it is still really funny. plz rite more 2 it soon ok.

**sujansdaughter**: This is a good attempt at a story but is so incredibly stupid

Ray: HEY! DON'T INCLUDE THAT...THAT FLAMER!

Lamb: #Calls assassin to kill flamer.# Don't worry about it. The potatoes shall die soon.

Ray, Lamb, & Raja Tears: He he...Dead!

Raja Tears: I'm betting some people think I'm totally stupid for writing these things!

Lamb: They're right!

Ray: But we all helped with the story. So we're all stupid!

Lamb, Raja Tears, & Ray: #Grabs hold of each others(butts) hands and start to do that ring around the posies thing.#

Raja Tears: Wait! You guys don't help me with this stuff! #Drops hands#

Lamb: I WOULD but I can't write funny stuff like YOU two can.

Ray: Well we only write about how stupid we act TOGETHER.

Raja Tears: That's true. BUT I need help with all the plots that we do. EVIL plots! Now I'm going to say my first disclaimer! Watch and be amazed! I own nothing except for Ray on the weekends.(Ray: #Smiles and touches self#) Wait! I DO own stuff. I own Mayhem Manor and in the future I will be owning Taco Bell. For now let's just say I don't. (Lamb: #Touches Ray#)

Well on to more important matters! (Sesshy: #Talking to Rin and pointing to the ground# Get on the ground Rin!) (Lamb and Ray: Hey! How come YOU get to do a Sesshy voice and we don't!) Okay I need some **_IDEAS_** (Ray: I'm glad you said it right!) people. So please give me anything that's retarded or criminal-ish. It can be gross, yaoi, incest(Ray: YOU GOT LEY-HA ADDICTED TO THAT STUFF), bestiality(not to much on that!), dangerous, death(But I might have to bring them back to life), a place they can go, and blah blah blah! You be creative. Oh and also not all the chapters will have a plot to capture Sesshy in it, but it will involve Sesshy and a lot of retarded-ness! So 100 chapters on stupid girls and hot bangs! (Lamb: ARE YO U DONE YET!) I'm done! Enjoy the chapter!

100 Attempts to Contain What Makes Sesshomaru Sexy

Chapter 3: Kry Me Sesshy's Bangs

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()At the FBI Headquarters()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Kry's Pov.

I walked up to a hot pink building that had a huge neon green sign at the top that read 'This is not the FBI headquarters' Then underneath that it read 'Hi Kry thanks for bailing us out! We'll be in the ice freezer playing ice hockey!' I blinked. 'I...I think I'm home!' I know I had a stupid smile on my face that said 'I'm a rapist' 'Man it's good to be back here so I can act CRAZY! Now suddenly I want to touch myself.' I opened the door and threw a brick at the women sitting at the front desk. The brick had been very lonely. No one touched him at night anymore. I touch myself.

"THAT SHOULD DISTRACT THEM!" I yelled as Mike walked up to me. He glanced over at the two women that were now dead, but they weren't important. I put my hand on his shoulder and sighed.

"I tried to save the children, but those men... were to strong for me! Th- they told m-me to take off my clothes. I t-told them... they had to give me my money first... or they wouldn't get any." I heard Mike sigh. He happened to like me. A LOT! I wasn't the man for him though. 'I know the perfect person for him! It HAS to work!'

"Aren't you going to take me to my fellow retards? They need to tell me about this Sesshy guy. You wouldn't know anything about it would you?" Mike blushed and pointed to the way I had my back to. I froze. 'What...What if I bleed. Cause I'm a woman and not a man. Damn the lack of testicles!' I did a manly back flip. In the process I 'accidently' kicked the secretary. I knew she wanted a date with Mike, but that's only cause he's hot. 'Besides! I got the perfect person for him. And it's not me!' I landed on my tentacles after about five minutes of flipping and kicking the crap out of people. I stared at the wall. It had tons of pictures of REALLY **_HOT_** bangs. I wiped away the drool that began to make its way down my chins. I glanced past my shoulder toward Mike.

"That man. He's Sesshy, right?" Mike replied with a short nod. I grinned and started to take my clothes off. For some reason Mike looked a little nervous. That or he had the burrito for lunch.

"Umm...his real name is Sesshomaru." Mike stated with a sigh of relief when I pulled my pants up again. Covering my cute pudgy-ness.

"Led me to the ice box while I nod to whatever you're saying and look for a boyfriend for you." An hour later we rounded the corner and stopped in front of small round sphere in the middle of the room. Mike walled to a couch and sat down. I grinned and kicked it. I heard tiny little midget screaming. I looked around only to see Mike reading "Twilight". I shrugged and kicked the ball again. 'This is fun! I wonder where the others are or where the freezer is? OH WELL!' I heard the screaming again. Suddenly the ball opened up and out jumped four REALLY fat people. I saw Mike look up from his book and wave at them. I looked closer to find that the four lardos were Kagome, Ray, Lamb, and Fatty.

"How did you all fit in there?" Asked Lamb. I shook my head and did a double take. 'She's teasing me with those skimpy clothes! Well two can play that game.' I jumped on Fatty, Ray, & Kagome and ripped off their clothes.

"Hey there babies. You umm...You come here often?" Ray said to her fist. 'She was never right in the head.'

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()Mike's Pov.()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()

I put down my book and looked over to see Kry jump on Ray, Kagome, and Fatty. She then ripped off their clothes and looked them over. I rolled my eyes and laughed when she smiled at what she saw. The three were wearing holla shirts and coconut bikinis. Lamb was grinning, too. That was when she reached over and ripped off Kry's clothes. 'Why are they all wearing holla skirts and coconut bikinis?...Never mind. I don't want to know.' I snapped back the realityof chaos. While I was zoned out Lamb had stripped down to a holla skirt and a coconut bikini and the five were chatting something about bangs. Then suddenly they all squealed when Kry shouted out a "YES!".

"I'm going to be seeing you a lot aren't I? Can you tell me how much trouble you are going to cause chasing that REALLY hot guy and his very sexy bangs?" After I said all that they ALL jumped on me and smiled. These were some HUGE girls here. 'Oh no. I can feel the pain coming already.' I squinted my eyes closed to prepare for all the wrestling they were going to force me into. Nothing happened and I opened my eyes.

Kagome: Say Mike. Could you do us a favor?

Kry: PLEASE!

Me: 'I know I'm going to regret this.' Sure.

All except Me: #Squeals#

Fatty: Okay! Kry said she was going to help us.

Kry: But we need more people to help!

Lamb: So we thought that you could help us by-

Fatty & Ray: -keeping tabs on Sesshy!

Kagome: That way we can-

Kry: -have a party-

Ray:-in my pants!

I gave them a confused look.

Me: What are you guys talking about!

Lamb: Here's what you need to do. Get Hiei and Kurama out of the demon world since you're a kitty demon! Tell them you were getting VERY lonely and wanted them to...comfort you.

Fatty: Kurama and Hiei would love to help I'm sure!

Me: No they wouldn't, but I'm...I'm going to make them!

Ray: Hey, Kry? Can you Kry me Sesshy's Bangs?

Kry: Nope!

Lamb & Fatty: #Glares at her# That's YOUR plot. Your EVIL plot.

Ray: #Smiles like a retard# Yup!

We all smiled and got up. Ray and the others left to go back to Mayhem Manor and sleep for tomorrow. They had a concert band competition tomorrow and needed to be well rested for the chaos they were going to cause. I sat back down and picked up my book. 'Now what happens when Edward goes into the sunlight?'

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Raja Tears: Sorry if it sucked and is short, but I'm tired.

Lamb: Me too!

Ray: Don't you two have a REAL band thing tomorrow?

Raja Tears: Yeah...I'm going to bed. Review with craziness people of the masses! Falls to ground in heap of tangled limbs with Ray and Lamb.

Lamb, Ray, & Raja Tears: Zzzzzzzzzzzz.


End file.
